Saturday Morning

I woke up today and well, like so many of us, felt drained. Yes, I worked last night, but that was not causing my tired self to be lagging behind this morning. Was it perhaps the indecisiveness I have been having in my relationship? Maybe it was all my idea debt that is causing me anxiety. Maybe it was that my family being somewhat ripped apart because of a tragic incident. It could be that I am just feeling sorry for myself, and feel like I cannot turn to anyone right now. Or perhaps it is what I ate for breakfast and all the starchy vegetables are causing me to fall behind. I have been awake for almost four hours now, and after 30 minutes of looking around my room to find a blank notebook and failing, I decided to write on my computer. I looked through 4 notebooks which are scattered with notes and ideas and felt I needed a true clean slate to write. So here I am.

The Object of Uncertainty:

When does uncertainty ever stop? Hmmmm, at this pace, I feel as if it could be never. An endless hole of uncertainty. I was reading Mark Manson’s most recent blog post, “Maybe You Don’t Know What Love is”, and it hit home but in many emotional ways. I started questioning my relationships with people close to me. Can my conditional love turn to unconditional love? Maybe? I hope. But this could be myself convincing my brain it is possible when in reality it is not.

What else am I uncertain about? What are you uncertain about?

I am uncertain about writing this. Should I be walking dogs for a living? Should I quit being a server to allot more time to my relationships? Will this meetup group help me meet a co-founder? Should I buy these groceries? Should I go out to eat or stay in to save money? Should I get go out tonight or keep working? What do I cancel out of my life to help give me more balance in life? Should I run?

Lives are consumed with uncertainty. There is no one path that will take you to one certain place that will be the best for you. No way. There are way too many questions that you will be faced to answer that will alter any pre-conceived path you thought you were once on.

So how to rid of some of these uncertainties…..great question. I am not a therapist of any kind. I really do not know what is right for any person as it will vary for everyone. Yeah, maybe some tactics work for some people, or a little of one strategy and a bit from another may help selected individuals. There are different tactics for different folks and for different times in their lives.

I am 31. I started a dog walking and pet sitting service 5 months ago. I serve at a restaurant. I am helping to organize a weekend for entrepreneurs to implement their ideas. I attend meetups about topics that I am not well versed on (mostly tech). I create t-shirts using Upwork.com and hire artists to design the shirts. I found myself saying yes to everything, and it feels like things are imploding. I have heard obtaining a mentor is a good way to go, and maybe that will help bring some certainty to my life. I guess it is a game of trial and error. Find what works best for you.

Some suggestions:

  • Write your daily plan in the morning
  • Don’t feel like you need to say yes to everything
  • Meditate (open ended with this). Basically, find space for you.
  • Find a mentor
  • Read a book not associated with anything in your life
  • Join a group to keep you accountable
  • Exercise (You do not need a gym). Cold outside, great. It is great for your health to shock the crap out of it for a little bit. Get your heart pumping.
  • Start a to-do list of simple tasks and scratch them off

At the end of the day, ask yourself what is important for you? Money, time, love, health, friends, basic living, extravagant living, to be known throughout the world or your community, etc.

You will notice alot together will be nearly impossible to have. So break it down more. Develop a plan. It will not come in one day, but exercise new ways of helping your uncertainty become certain.