wait, what?

The last two weeks or so have been so crazy that I can’t even recount it all coherently.  Somewhere in there, we celebrated two major holidays, made an important last visit, attended a funeral, moved a family member against her wishes (that was tons of fun, obviously), and just dealt with the usual bumps and bruises that seem to come along with the whole life deal.  By Thursday, I realized I hadn’t slept in my own bed for six days and promptly passed out for many hours.

I didn’t have my computer with me so once I was back to feeling halfway myself, I came to check on the blog world and found out that one of my readers was a fraud.  Umm…what?!?  I didn’t even know how to react to that news.

I’ve now had 24 hours of quiet and peace.  My brain is feeling calmer but I’ve found myself wishing for things that I haven’t thought about in a long time.

• I want to spend time writing by hand.
• I want to write letters sent by postal mail.
• I want to use film and develop my own photographs again.
• I want to eat better.
• I want to exercise everyday.
• I want to clean up my life.
• I want to go back and enjoy the things I stopped doing when I graduated from school.

…because you never know how long you’ll be around…

Perfecting My Accent

Yesterday, I came home from working out (3 weeks off was a BAD plan!) and my dad told me that my letter came.  I asked him if it was a big envelope (that would be a good sign, right?) and he looked really dejected and said that it was very thin.  Sigh.  I was on the phone with one of my good friends at the time as well so there I was opening a very, very thin envelope with two people waiting to hear the (bad) news.  Guess what?  I got accepted!  I was all confused because I’d mentally prepared myself for the let down and then…wait, what?  It said I got in?!?

So, unless something happens, I will be attending graduate school beginning this fall to you know, better myself and get a master’s degree and hopefully, gainful employment.  I’ll also be leaving the friendly Midwest  and heading to the harsh, cold East Coast (I kid, I kid).  I’m the most worried about how I’m going to adjust to this tiny school after bumping shoulders with 40,000 students during undergrad.  For now though, I’m just happy I have a future plan and I’m going to get to meet new people and live in a city already populated with some of my favorite people in the whole world, plus 8293739243 other schools.  Honestly, I just keep saying, “Finally!  Finally some good news!”

Falling Out of Love

I’ve read so many posts lately by bloggers who are tired of blogging or have decided to stop posting due to other circumstances.  In some ways, I relate to them.  I stopped posting for a good number of days and even now, I’m not sure how much I want to say or what type of blog I want this to be.  I also suffer from blog envy in that I follow so many great blogs, I always feel as though I should be doing things differently.  For now, I’m just going to see how things go and perhaps a common thread will emerge.  I still love following through my reader and commenting so I will definitely not leave completely.

-

As far as an update, things have been up and down.  I had the best week and worst week all in the same time span.  The Boy came to see me and ended up staying five and a half days.  When we’re together, things are really good.  The separation is harder.  Even though we talk on the phone every day, it’s not the same.  I also have my own reservations about being involved with someone so close to me because I’d hate to not have him in my life due to a break up.  For now, we’re just kind of seeing how it goes.

That week I also found out I’d been replaced at work…by my replacement!  Honestly, I’m not sure if there is a worse way of losing your job than getting an e-mail announcing this person will now have your job and do you have any tips.  I was totally blindsided and I still have not heard anything from my boss regarding the situation.  I was working long distance so I understand why it happened but I wish I’d gotten some notice.  The good thing is that it had nothing to do with my performance and I wasn’t fired or anything like that.  My LTE status just ended.

Grad school e-mailed to say I’d have to wait another 4-6 weeks for a decision although I called today and was told the decision letter had been mailed.  I’ve been waiting all day and we haven’t gotten any mail yet.  What’s up with that?

My health insurance was also terminated but thankfully, that has now been fixed.  Ugh.  Such a mess and really worrisome because I’d just had a really expensive check up type test done.

I spent this past weekend volunteering for about 12 hours and seeing five films and four shorts so that was pretty awesome.  I will always be a bit of a film nerd at heart

Welcome Home

Hello internetz,

I have returned.  I will be writing here again.  I apologize for the long period of silence.

-Emily

Getting To Know You

For whatever reason, I’m not good at intimacy.  I don’t like to be completely open.  To me, it feels more like an invasion and a loss of control.  It makes me uncomfortable.  Once I feel like someone is getting too close, I start to distance myself.

Over the weekend, The Boy and I became closer.  While I was in another room, he went to check his e-mail on my computer.  I had up my gmail account linked to this blog and when he went home, he googled it.  And he found this blog.

I told him I wasn’t going to take it down, I wasn’t going to stop writing, I wasn’t going to change what I wanted to write but the truth is that the more that I think about it, the more nervous that I get.  I will probably start over again.  Take back my little anonymous corner of the internet.  He didn’t mean any harm, he didn’t know he would find what he did and he said he didn’t read it but it doesn’t really matter.  Once I know someone is reading and I’m writing about them at the same time, I get a little freaked out.  I won’t disappear completely, I promise.